The death of a family member, and the wedding of a loved one have nothing in common unless you measure the feeling by weight in which case they are exactly the same. Sometimes emotions can’t be explained as good or bad all you can express is how big they are.
The feeling of wrapping your arms around a friend after a three hour drive where in the back of your mind you had been preparing yourself incase you didn’t make it in time and you found a dead body instead of a person. The feeling of wanting to pour every ounce of love and joy that you have over that person like water over wounds to wash them clean, wanting to whisper every reason to live every reason they are loved, every reason they have to keep going one day at a time. The feeling of kissing every part of their face because it’s all still there and not shattered into pieces by the revolver you know is in the house. The feeling that this is all there is in the entire universe just the two of you clinging to each other.
This feeling is not good or bad but it is overwhelmingly big.
I find myself still struggling to make room for it in myself. This looming intense feeling has not yet settled down inside me, it makes me see things in sharper focus. It reminds me how powerful our words can be and how they can change the world. It stands behind me and whispers to me as I move through my day reminding me that one moment of connection could change a life.
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